Agh, where does the time go? Seriously? I have been away from here for the last two months because I was busy writing the newsletter for the national charity that I am involved with. It is becoming a bit all encompassing and I am looking forward to the six week holiday I will be taking to go home at the end of June.
For the first time in three years, I will be staying at my childhood house. I haven't really lived there since 2003 and it will be very strange to once again be living there. I have always avoided it because it reminds me too much of my Mom and it made me sad. I think that with the counselling I have received this year, it will be a good thing to go back and face my fears and sadness. I am slowly emerging from this hole that I have been surrounding myself with for the past nearly nine years. It is hard, so hard, to come to grips with the fact that I need to let my mother's hold over me go. I held onto it in fear that if I did let go then I would lose her somehow- that that piece of her would be gone forever. Becoming a mother has really showed me that I am my own person and that it's ok to not always wonder what my mother would think about my life.
Today is her birthday so I guess she is on my mind. I had no intentions of writing something so serious when I opened up this page.
On a lighter note, I am really excited to be able to be home for a longer period of time. I can't believe that it's nearly Henry's birthday. I can't believe how far we have come in a year. This time last year I had no idea how all encompassing raising a child would be. I also had no idea how much love a person can have for another human being. I can't imagine my life without Henry. It is surreal to think that there was a time when I didn't know him. I am so glad he chose me to be his mummy.
I also am hoping to get a new camera when I am home this summer so I can properly document his life. These random iPhone shots just aren't doing him any justice.
