it's been 2 months.

Agh, where does the time go? Seriously? I have been away from here for the last two months because I was busy writing the newsletter for the national charity that I am involved with. It is becoming a bit all encompassing and I am looking forward to the six week holiday I will be taking to go home at the end of June. 

For the first time in three years, I will be staying at my childhood house. I haven't really lived there since 2003 and it will be very strange to once again be living there. I have always avoided it because it reminds me too much of my Mom and it made me sad. I think that with the counselling I have received this year, it will be a good thing to go back and face my fears and sadness. I am slowly emerging from this hole that I have been surrounding myself with for the past nearly nine years. It is hard, so hard, to come to grips with the fact that I need to let my mother's hold over me go. I held onto it in fear that if I did let go then I would lose her somehow- that that piece of her would be gone forever. Becoming a mother has really showed me that I am my own person and that it's ok to not always wonder what my mother would think about my life. 

Today is her birthday so I guess she is on my mind. I had no intentions of writing something so serious when I opened up this page. 

On a lighter note, I am really excited to be able to be home for a longer period of time. I can't believe that it's nearly Henry's birthday. I can't believe how far we have come in a year. This time last year I had no idea how all encompassing raising a child would be. I also had no idea how much love a person can have for another human being. I can't imagine my life without Henry. It is surreal to think that there was a time when I didn't know him. I am so glad he chose me to be his mummy. 

I also am hoping to get a new camera when I am home this summer so I can properly document his life. These random iPhone shots just aren't doing him any justice.

It's easy being green.

So what if I stole my title from Bethany's photo album on facebook- I like it :)

The truth is that it IS easy (and cheap) to be green. My newest obession is soap nuts and they are both cheap and easy to use. These things are amazing. They are the dried fruit of the soap nut tree and they contain a substance called saponin. This magical saponin cleans things: everything to be exact.

The first thing I did was throw 6 nuts into the muslin bag provided and wash my laundry as normal. (It was just my sheets so I didn't really care how they came out.) They came out clean but there was no smell which I found highly unnerving so I went for a walk and bought some lemongrass essential oil. I then learned all about grinding soap nuts into a powder and putting them into a sock with the essential oils. I also added 2T of vinegar and 2T of baking soda to the drawer. My clothes came out AMAZINGLY clean and smelled nice too. The soap nuts even got the nappies clean and soft!! yay! :)

The next thing I decided to do was to make the soap nut liquid. You take 15 or so soap nuts and boil them in a litre of water for 30 minutes or so (I use spring water as I have yucky hard water which ruins everything). You then strain the soap nuts and are left with a golden soapy liquid! This can be used to clean your surfaces, be made into a shampoo or hand soap. My only issue is that I like suds and this liquid doesn't sud. Therefore, I am going to buy a foaming soap pump for my shampoo and hand soap. I must say that the liquid got my hair much cleaner than the baking soda fiasco from a few weeks ago! I also froze a lot of the liquid into cubes that I will be able to use as laundry detergent. I simply pop 3-4 cubes into the drum and then add my vinegar and baking soda combination!

My other "green" obsession is coconut oil. This needs to be the refined coconut oil. It is a but pricy but you can use it for EVERYTHING. I use it as my moisturiser (it smells AMAZING) and I have made toothpaste out of it. (Coconut oil + baking soda + peppermint oil = toothpaste!) I also cook with and eat the coconut oil. It tastes amazing when I make chicken korma. I throw two tablespoons into my smoothies to make it creamy and coconutty! It's awesome. It is supposed to help you lose weight as well so it's a win-win situation!

So at the moment, the only chemicals I use are the ones in my makeup and I use that sparingly. I need to find some good, chemical free makeup. Does anyone have any suggestions??

update

So apparently no poo + hard water = HELL for your hair. UGH. Stupid hard water!!!! So, I am ordering some soap nuts and am going to make shampoo out of that. Now I am waiting for them to arrive. I am still no poo on everything else but the shampoo and conditioner. They are both JASON which I thought was super great since there is no sodium laureth sulfate but on Skin Deep it got a 6 which is pretty hazardous. UGH.

I will update when I get my soap nuts. I plan on using them for EVERYTHING :).

NO POO

Alrighty, I am on day two of being "poo" free. and my hair is a GREASY mess right now with the detox going on. UGH. For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about; let me explain.  I have stopped using any chemicals in the shower. (I am working on the makeup...) I have started washing my hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar.

So far, so greasy. It apparently takes your body a while to adjust to this no poo routine. While you use shampoos, you strip your hair of its natural oils. Your scalp then overproduces oils to make up for this. When you stop using shampoo, you need a bit of time for your body to figure out what's going on and stop producing all the excess oils. Hence my pony tail and greasy mess of a head even when I have just stepped out of the shower. I can't wait until the promised time comes when I will have beautiful hair that needs to be washed once a week. Ahhhhhh I am dreaming of it right now!

I am also not using toothpaste anymore. I am making my own with coconut oil, baking soda and peppermint essential oil. It works great. I am also making a body scrub with olive oil and brown sugar. (I have been doing this one for years as I just love olive oil on my skin!) I just read about a face wash with olive oil and castor oil. You mix the two together and apply it to your face. Then you get a hot wash cloth and just steam the oils and wipe away at the end of a minute. I will let you know how I get on with this one.

It seems as I have jumped off the deep end but I just can't stand spending loads of money on those so called "natural" body products that don't even work that well. I have been spending £5.99 for shampoo for the last year. It still has some pretty nasty stuff in it. I ran out of shampoo this week so decided to take the plunge! I also love the satisfaction of using every day things to make products that work really well; I feel so self sufficient!! I plan on using these on Henry as well so that this is the norm and he doesn't have to "de-tox" at the age of 29. It makes me cringe to think about all of the chemicals I have exposed myself to over the years (hello- smoking cigarettes?!?!?! yuck!)

So- I will keep you updated on my no poo transition. If you have any questions, I have lots of links bookmarked! And if you see me- yes I have showered today ;)

babywearing

Firstly, I have taken a look at my life and realised that I am on the internet WAY TOO MUCH. I have cut down to one hour at night and occasionally during the day if Henry is asleep and all my "chores" are done. So I may not be around as much.

Secondly, I just read a brilliant article on babywearing and I would like to write a post about it. I am OBSESSED with wearing my child. I love everything about it. I don't remember how I came to decide when I was pregnant that I wanted to wear my baby but I know that at 17 weeks pregnant I bought my first wrap.

We all know that my birth was less than ideal. I had a slow physical recovery and could barely walk for the first few weeks. As a result, I used my stroller/pushchair/pram (whatever you want to call it!). I was gutted that I couldn't just pop the wrap on and go. I bought a cheap, second hand pram off of eBay because I knew deep down inside that using a pram just wasn't going to be my style.

I entered my postpartum days with a hybrid wrap called a "papoozle" made in Scotland by the Tots Bots company. I also bought an Ergo second hand at the recommendation of my friend. The papoozle didn't offer my newborn enough support and the Ergo felt too open and stiff for him. So I bought my beloved Moby wrap and it was love at first wrap. I used this wrap nearly every day for six months. I wore him at home when he was fussy and out for walks. I wore him when we went out to dinner or to the pub. He went everywhere with me and was always so happy and calm. I liked having my hands free and my baby within kissing distance. The Moby and I were a match made in heaven.

I decided that I wanted to try a few other kinds of carriers and bought a cheap mei tai and a babasling. Neither of them did it for me the way the Moby did. I knew though, that eventually Henry was going to get too heavy for me to use the Moby so I planned ahead and bought a Didymos woven wrap. Oh my goodness. This wrap is like a diamond for most women. My husband bought it for me on my birthday trip to Germany. It cost about £100 (more than my engagement ring!!! haha) and is way more than I would normally spend on anything baby-related but I am not ready to stop wearing him!

Two weeks ago the inevitable happened. I was about to leave my house and little Mr. Strong Baby took both of his shoulders and got himself out of the wrap. That was the end of the Moby. It was such a sad day for me. I then pulled out the didymos and had a go. The learning curve for woven wraps is a bit intimidating as you need to actually hold the baby and wrap the wrap around him BUT this leads to an amazingly tight and sturdy carry. It is brilliant. He is so secure and so happy in it and my back feels much better!! :)

So back to the article that I read today. It is great! It validates how I have felt about carrying my baby. I will include it at the end but just wanted to mention why I like it so much. As a babywearer you sometimes get some rude looks or comments. A few of my favourites are: "You are ruining his spine by wearing him like that. There is not enough support." OR "He is squished in there- poor child."I would like to print this article out and read it to them. I also encountered a lot of strange looks from my family members when I was home for Christmas. They soon understood when Henry would drift happily to sleep or calm right down in it. He has been in his pram a few times. Daddy and Grammie usually take him out in it and when I don't have any trousers washed and need to wear a dress- he goes in the pram! (Luckily it doesn't happen too often).

So, have a read of the article. Babywearing is an amazing bonding experience that I hope to continue for as long as possible.

Awesome babywearing article. It takes you to the middle of the article. You need to scroll up :)

Here are some pictures of me, Daddy and Grandpa wearing Henry!

Moby

Ergo

Grandpa with the Ergo

Daddy with the Ergo

Moby

Didymos hip carry

Information overload Part II.

Ok- the other one was getting wordy but this is actually the original topic I wanted to write about so thought it would be better to give it its own post. 

It all boils down to the fact that there is so much information available to us. I am a member of a website called babycenter. It's basically a big chat room type site with different groups to suit your needs. I started looking around on there and found all of these "crunchy" and hippy mama groups. This was so up my ally and I started to go nuts researching all of the different ways I can make my life more natural. I also found myself joining all of these natural parenting pages on facebook. These pages give you links to visit or links for other blogs that give you even more links to visit and so on. It's endless. The information is literally endless and I am overwhelmed. 

Just for fun I will tell you about my internet searches for the day. They are in no order, just what I can remember. (Don't forget refreshing babycenter and facebook all day...)

* I am recovering from the stomach flu so I was searching ways to naturally cure diarrhea. (fun times).

* I bought some Dr. Bronner's soap so was researching just how to use it, which then led me to amazon.co.uk looking for Dr. Bronner's hair conditioner.

* I was on amazon.co.uk looking for coconut oil which then led me to look up how to use the coconut oil again.

* I was looking up how to make a natural bathroom cleaner which led me to look up natural laundry detergent and information about soap nuts.

* I was looking up how to go "poo free" which then led me to look up natural cosmetics and then information about how to make my hard water soft.

* I was looking up organic babyfood and what Henry should be eating which then led me to a thyorid diet which then led me to want to eat only locally grown vegetables and things in season... 

The problem is that I will go onto babycenter or something similar and realise that I am no where near natural enough and then overload myself with information on how to make myself more natural. The other issue with babycenter or the leakyboob or those sites is that I want to help my fellow mamas so I am on there trying my best! Plus my real life friends need me too!

Then there is the issue of my facebook pages. I love them- don't get me wrong, but they are constantly giving me new things to think about and articles to read. So then I research about circumcision or vaccinations or something esle. It's endless people and it's overhwelming. Part of me longs for the days of reading a book at my Mom's house while she shake and baked some pork chops and then cleaned up with fantastic spray. I, of course, want to live better BUT it sure is information overload out there.

Then there is the problem of the fact that my husband and I are sitting here side by side with him on his stupid iPad and me on my laptop with the telly going in the background. What kind of example are we setting for Henry? I think I am going to have to impose some sort of information and technology de-tox. 

I want to do so many life and diet de-toxes that I just don't even know where to begin... ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Information overload Part I.

Somedays I really just want to shut down my iPhone or my laptop. It is amazing how dependent I have become on having the internet at my fingertips. As recently as 2005 I was still checking my e-mail at school because I was too poor to afford the internet at home. 

I used to happily log on to MySpace and then facebook to see what my friends were up to, then check my email and occasionally check the weather. That was it. I moved on from there to paying all of my bills online and getting my bank statements e-mailed to me. From there I started buying and selling things on amazon.com and using google instead of an encyclopedia. Even this amount of use was acceptable. I had a PC at the time so I had to be home and sitting at my desk. I worked full time and was still a student so I didn't have a lot of free time. 

Then I moved away from home and the facebook addiction started. I was on there constantly as I didn't have very many friends here in the UK and desparately missed my life back home.  I also had a laptop for the first time in my life and was able to be online and in my bed! Then I learned about multiple tabs and would seach the internet for lesson plans, news at home, anything else besides doing actual work- all while being on facebook. This was pretty bad but the pinnacle of my internet addiction was when I got my BELOVED iPhone. 

Oh iPhone, how you have changed my life. I no longer need to turn the telly on or a read a book when I can't sleep and wake up my husband. I no longer need two hands to search the internet while nursing my baby. (It really did save my life while nursing though...) I am on my phone all. the. time. I can use it everywhere. I no longer need to wonder about anything because together my iPhone and google can answer all of life's great questions. 

The problem is that I am a curious person by nature. I like to research EVERYTHING. It got really bad when I found out I was pregnant. I would sit there for hours researching every pregnancy symptom known to man. Then I needed to look up things to buy for the baby. Then I needed to research all about cloth nappies. Then I joined babycenter and was on there talking to other moms-to-be about our daily problems. It's only gotten progressively worse since I had the baby. I wonder where I find the time to even go online. I am up way after he goes to sleep just sitting here seeing if people are going to tell me about their dinner or work that day. It's becoming a serious problem... I honestly think I am addicted to the internet. I can't imagine a day without it. This is a serious problem and one that I am hoping clears up when the weather becomes better and I can go outside. If not- I might need to fast!